just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You dont lie about slip and slides
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
