ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
