It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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