found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
