no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
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we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
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Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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