and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
did i walk over a car last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize