1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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