i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
