Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You made out with two different species that night
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
