i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
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