halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Randomize
