Whoa Z and x make the same sound
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
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Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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