what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
