Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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