Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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