Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
