he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
