question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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