She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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