Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
