You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
"it" just moved
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
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I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
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