i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
