Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
