Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
