i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize