Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
