Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Dignity is for republicans.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize