i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
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