I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
sarcasm needs its own font
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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