All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
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I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
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Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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