sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize