I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
