Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
