It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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