The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
No I am not eating basil off your cock
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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