That's when you crack a 10am beer
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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