And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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