i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize