He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
