would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
