She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Randomize
