time to smoke my breakfast
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
