imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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