i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
