DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
