is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
