I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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