I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize