oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
