thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
there's paper in my vomit.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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