I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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