im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
