I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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