5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Randomize
