So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
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