i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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