Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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