You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
