Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
