I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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