You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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