she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
